Thursday, April 17, 2008

The yin and the yang

I continued to ponder on the topic from yesterday as I was driving home. I realized the reason my two loves are at odds with each other.

One love must be completely selfless and the other requires absolute selfishness to attain perfection. No wonder they come back nipping at each other's tails because they are aspects that can never be quashed. By natural progression, when you neglect your own needs and desires for an extended period, you will show signs of resentment towards whatever is keeping you from fulfilling those wants. Even if you really do not resent the reason because logically you know the choice is yours, outwardly the signs will surface.

How convoluted is it? They say that to truly love another you have to learn to love yourself. Yet in the world I have created, loving another fully means sacrificing myself at the altar of my object of desire. I do love myself! I love myself so much that I think the only gift worth giving to my love is plain old me, as I am. No frills, just me.

Something isn't quite adding up though. If I give myself away, then I will always feel a void. Which is more important? More beneficial? To me or to others? Myself? Or what I have to offer?

to be continued...

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